you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
