Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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