is your mom at the bar?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
