we have officially lost it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
