im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
