U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh god the rape fog is back!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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