Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
