the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
