i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
