So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Someone signed my nipple.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
