I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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