so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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