well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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