i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
