Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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