He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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