im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ladies don't puke and tell
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
