dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
