if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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