All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
