Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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