I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
