He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
