the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I want to make a zoo with you.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
