we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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