I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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