My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Text me some of your sweat
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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