I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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