Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
