They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
