just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
