Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
