just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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