Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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