Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
