doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
