this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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