If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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