you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize