spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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