that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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