It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
