Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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