i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
