im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
