So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
