we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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