Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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