Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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