Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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