you win again, gameday.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the liver wants what the liver wants
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
