Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ladies don't puke and tell
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
