I hate your face
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize