Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
