You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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