i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
