In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize