So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
