Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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