So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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