Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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