every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
