Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
