i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We need a shit load of segways right now
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
