i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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